BusinessBelle

I am completely guilty. After initial reports surfaced of her pregnant teenage daughter and newborn baby with special needs, I jumped right on the bandwagon.

“She couldn’t possibly be a mother to that baby and hold her family together while serving as Vice President of the United States!”

The irony hit me like a Mac truck during her convention speech. Who am I to pass that judgment? What do any of the pundits or media know about her ability to handle both? And since when is that a concern for candidates? Many male candidates and incumbents have had to juggle family drama without their parenting ability being called into question.

The truth is I don’t feel confident in MY OWN ability to pull it off. Most women don’t – but we don’t get to decide she isn’t fully equipped.

The bottom line: We can’t expect equal consideration in some arenas but not others. If she is up to the challenge, Bristol and Palin’s other children will have one heck of a role model from whom to draw strength, inspiration and courage through all of their life trials!

As Sarah Palin stood confident and unwavering in front of millions (live and on air), knowing suspicion, doubt, and muffled gossip was on the lips of many, she spoke with presidential polish and small town self-confidence. She made no apologies only a case for why her ticket should win the election. Her ability to step into a presidential position should be determined by her voting record and previous relevant experience-not her parenting choices or gender roles.

All politics aside, Palin is a Businessbelle to watch and learn from. A true case study in being unapologetically beautiful, feminine, fierce and successful in a male dominated profession—she isn’t ignorant to the onslaught coming her way. In fact, she is moving toward it confident who she is and what she knows will be enough. Cheers!

Political views aside, a recent article about “the watering down of Michelle Obama” struck within me a deeply frustrating chord.

The Times writes Michelle Obama, a Harvard-trained lawyer, known for bold, frank talk - whose style is to say “Hey! I’m going to tell you where I stand, and you figure out where you stand,” will be undergoing an image makeover courtesy of her husband’s campaign.

The reason? American is scared of smart, mouthy ladies.

The makeover will emphasize all things modest, humble and soft. The first tactic deployed was appearing on The View where critics said she successfully “came across as a 21st century Welcome Wagon hostess.”

America’s pattern of “Stepfordizing” potentially powerful women is impossible to ignore. Hilary’s loudest attacks weren’t about her politics, the nation is obsessed with Condoleezza’s lack of a husband, John McCain’s wife is as sweet as apple pie but makes more money than her husband-(the horror!)

There is nothing wrong with being soft spoken or modest - but not all women fit that mold. Those that don’t shouldn’t be attacked. We are diverse creatures and should embrace that diversity. When did we last hear a male political candidate or business leader criticized for being “too aggressive” or “too sharp tongued?”

What purpose do those gender boundaries serve? Who do they serve?

I hope Michelle stays true to her own identity and refuses to conform for the sake of her husband’s campaign of change.

A moment of silence is in order for the passing of Reva Korda, the former creative head of Ogilvy & Mather - and BusinessBelle pioneer. She worked at Ogilvy for almost 30 years, starting as an assistant copywriter in 1951 and working her way up to creative chief before leaving in 1980 to start her own agency.

Ms. Korda spoke to gender challenges in the advertising industry in an August 1984 New York Times piece called “Some ‘Supermoms’ Who Led the Way.” In the piece she featured prominent career women who “bucked the tide of their times” by having children and staying in the workforce.

Korda was quoted saying “When I looked around the conference table I was always the only woman in the room, and two years after I became a vice president, I was also the only pregnant person in the room. I could sell anything when I was pregnant because men wanted to get me out of the room. It was a wonderful weapon.”

She also wrote a novel called “Having It All,” about what happens when a 49ish executive woman in a large advertising agency discovers she’s hit the glass ceiling.

Cheers to a woman who refused to be ignored, sidelined or marginalized!

Too often one hears the phrase:

“Just a housewife…”

I want to dispel that dirty colloquialism. Women raise our world/business leaders and women possess the skills to be one as well!

I believe the X chromosome is an advantage in the workplace. I coined the term N.I.C.E. to represent our natural aptitude to Nurture, use Intuition, Communicate, and demonstrate Empathy. This weekend I was able to witness a great example!

4 days and nights in a shared hotel suite with another couple and their baby girl exposed me first hand to a woman’s amazing ability to use her natural Nuturing ability to run a family. Women just instinctively know how to do it–and even children recognize it instantly. Men can be taught to help out, assist or even share responsibilities - but something more instinctive resides in female DNA.

A typical mother’s morning means she immediately:

-gets the children out of bed and into the bath
-changes diapers and redresses her children
-recites a reminder checklist for her husband’s day
-prepares food
-cleans up the mess
-calms down any squabbles
-grabs a quick shower
-throws on her face and gets dressed
-packs up everyone else’s belongings (lunches, snacks, extra change of clothes)
-commits everyone else’s schedule to memory

……all before lunch.

If that doesn’t seem like much, you should try it. Or observe how many baffled questions a male asks when trying to accomplish any of it!

As a domestic diva, one must possess at least all of the following:

-Courage to do what is best and not what is popular
-Strong decision making ability
-Quickly prioritize and execute action
-Handle tremendous stress
-Ability to identify trends

This is certainly the checklist of a leader. Whether you choose to be a working mom or “just a housewife” - never doubt you have what it takes to lead in our world just like you do in our homes!

A sweet BusinessBelle and amazing Mark Kay Beauty Consultant extraordinaire, Hilary Fiskeaux, recently passed a book my way. My review is in:

EVERY aspiring or successful business women MUST readMary Kay Ash, Miracles Happen

Using or even liking Mary Kay cosmetics is not required to glean inspiration from this book. The life of this amazing woman and the stories of her experiences supersede any profession. Mary Kay Ash had the motivation, drive and enthusiasm I only dream of having. Despite her death, Mary Kay’s words are so full of life they could invigorate anyone!

She very poignantly puts the responsibility of success on our own shoulders. Once more, the book details the importance of finding that success with grace and femininity. She admonishes whining or crying, lateness and losing your cool and encourages developing what we are naturally amazing with: intuitiveness and foresight! Here were a few highlights that struck me:

Some days you just don’t feel like it - but it’s your job so develop techniques for pulling your motivation from within.

If you have had a bad week, you need your team, if you have had a great week - your team needs you!

Physical symptoms and emotional stress can stop when you take control of your attitude.

To accomplish anything significant you have to have a plan–on paper!

Women do think differently - and that can be a tremendous advantage.

I encourage EVERY woman I know to read this book. Regardless of age or profession, you won’t read it without feeling motivated to be a stronger more successful human being!

Okay let’s rip the band-aid off and say it – Sexual Harassment.

It is uncomfortable to type the words publicly, and I never once have dared to post on the subject despite virtually every female colleague and friend I know disclosing a story related to the issue.

Remaining mum on the subject is sad evidence that I too am part of the problem. Women are afraid to mention the subject in mixed company much less file an actual complaint. That is what keeps us weak and vulnerable.

The legal definition of sexual harassment is

“unwelcome verbal, visual, or physical conduct of a sexual nature that is severe or pervasive and affects working conditions or creates a hostile work environment.”

I took a quick poll of 5 BusinessBelles. I read the definition and asked if they had ever personally experienced sexual harassment at their workplace. Each responded in the same manner.

1. Quickly they were able to recount a specific instance.
2. None of them reported it – or considered reporting it.
3. They ALL wanted to make sure I wasn’t telling anyone about this!

The offenders know this. They know we fear reporting sexual harassment because it might negatively affect our career paths or our relationships with other co-workers.

What irony. Shouldn’t sexual harassers be the ones grappling with that?

Not as long as women agree to stay silent and accept this lack of respect as a “necessary evil” for moving up. Success does come with a price tag – but the only real line item is superwoman strength. Real progress for women in this arena demands uniting together and refusing to accept disrespect in this manner.

- Buying a great new suit and looking fabulous in it
does NOT mean you “welcomed” that verbal, visual or physical conduct.

- Being attractive, smart and/or friendly
does NOT mean you asked for it.

- Making known what you won’t accept
does NOT make you a b****.

We must stop whining together and start speaking out. Otherwise we are doomed to continue holding ourselves down.

Is your workplace like mine? If so, the majority of your male employees have been completely distracted since Thursday. Have you heard them yelling out NCAA basketball scores? Keeping ESPN.com splashed on their computer monitor from tip off til 5p.m.? Is the office pool posted on a board in someone’s office? If the answer is yes—NOW IS YOUR CHANCE.

I love the madness as much as the next crazed Kentucky fan (okay so this year was awful!). Don’t misunderstand my statements for sexism. Many females love tournament time as well. But if you don’t salivate at the thought of redeeming a dismal season with a clutch number 1 seed knock-off…If you feel like the good-old-boys club exists in your office and you’re tired of falling victim to the politics.

I recently completed an interesting personal study of two women: Hilary Clinton and Condoleezza Rice. With the political season in full swing, I wanted to know how two of the most powerful female political forces got where they are.

I was shocked and saddened to see a clear and common theme between these very different women. Different political views, different personal taste, different styles of management – both scrutinized and brutally criticized for ambitions and leadership choices deemed unbecoming of a lady.

Both of these women are over-achievers, refute obstacles in their path and ignore status quo preferring to set their own standard. Additionally, they lead with fierce determination and refuse to accept less from their colleagues or subordinates. Just as countless men before them have.

They went about achieving educational and professional success with distinctly different styles but were both crucified in the media and by their own communities on the way. They have been publicly and proudly admonished in every way—from questioning their sexuality and moral compass to flatly declaring them Mean B****es.

Such a quandary.

More so when you compare their struggle to the current Spitzer scandal. Media outlets have even put the political race on a back burner to cover every possible angle of this story. But words are chosen ever so carefully and passing judgment is a serious faux pas. Laura Schlesssinger puts blame on the wife, psychiatrists say it is an addiction, and the poor Emperor’s Club girl was just trying to “make it” in the world.

Reading back through the accounts of “mistakes” by Hilary and Condi, I cannot find a single incident where they were treated with such kit gloves.

Call me cynical, but it seems women with ambitions too big for their skirts must also have the thickest skin and mega-marathon endurance if they hope to gain/maintain power in the political world. I am so grateful for the women who paved our way in the private sector. I don’t think I possess what they must have.

Pepperidge Farm is introducing a new campaign. The theme is “Connecting through Cookies.” The purpose helping women improve their social lives.

With Cookies?

Initially, I was completely insulted Pepperidge Farms would make a blanket statement asserting women had a social problem. Moreover, they would assume cookies where a sufficient solution to anything in a woman’s life. The audacity of Pepperidge to create a website with connecting tips such as “Next time you’re with a friend, change your experience by walking a new route together, eating a different cookie than usual…

It felt so trivial and condescending!!

But thinking more about it, I see the campaign in a different light. Pepperidge Farms is no small fish company. They retain highly paid marketing professionals who know our societal trends like the back of their hands. I began to realize they are just taking advantage of the dirty secret society has on females.

We have “getting along” issues

Letting go of my pride, I now credit the campaign. We don’t want to admit the issue exists or we wish it weren’t so….but a quick survey of the men in your life points to the contrary.

How many men you know are currently in the midst of or just reconciled from a squabble with their guy friend, male co-worker, or male family member? Reverse the question for females and the answers might be embarrassing.

Why is this? Why is this phenomenon isolated to females and not humanity as a whole? Wives complain to husbands about their relationships…rarely does it happen in reverse with much fervor.

“Our friendships with our girlfriends make our lives so much richer,” proclaims a section of the home page of the Web site. “Visit our new section about keeping those connections strong.”

I still don’t agree that cookies are a solution. However, I can’t slight anything that might work. Until we can erase that perception/reality from the female character–we will continue to be marginalized as effective leaders and contributors to society.

Is there a full moon? Perhaps an early Halloween trick?

The big question on The Today Show’s website and one of the main segments on this morning’s show was How Low Can you Go at the Office: Cleavage at Work. They even convinced How Design author, Karen Salmansohn, to be a guest and provide “expert advice” on the topic.

Why are we talking about this on a national news platform? This is the caliber of conversation one expects to endure while passing office gossips at the water cooler.

Real business women aren’t looking for advice on their breasts and/or their degree of necessary coverage at the office. This segment was frivolous and demeaning to women who have worked for respect in today’s marketplace.

One more questionable story from the producers of Today… Tomorrow I am giving Good Morning America a try.